Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Running With the Wolves

I've been feeling out of sorts. It started in about May and was getting worse and worse. For various reasons, I had decided to drop tango completely, but commitments to the community dictated that it couldn't happen until after the middle of September. So I distanced myself emotionally from it instead.

I'm reading the book " Women Who Run With Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Estes is a Jungian therapist and cantadora (storyteller). Each chapter deals with issues deep within a womans psyche using fables found in different cultures. Estes speaks of how women sever themselves from their internal creative force, becoming quiet, good, perfect... fill it whatever word works in your own circumstances.

Reading Este's book, I've realized that the decision to quit tango has severed me from my own internal energy. Via tango, for the first time in my adult life, I was fully connected to myself. Tango fed the artistic creation, which fed the tango, which fed... When one wasn't working, the other was. So, do I restart the tango fire? Or do I walk away from it and find another way to light that fire? Which would be best for who I really am?