Friday, December 22, 2006

A Girl's Guide to Living Alone

Have you seen the overwhelming amount of books out there that should be subtitled "How to Catch a Man"? I don't think anyone realizes that men don't want to be caught. Unless they have been taught by their mothers that they need a woman to iron their socks and starch their underpants.

1. Get rid of the self help books. No one needs titles that tell you we come from different planets. Why not just say men are dogs and women are cats and be done with it. I did see one: "Why Men Like Bitches". Hey men like ...bunnies (rhymes with truck).

2. Develop skills with your hands. You will need to be able to fix broken plumbing, nail boards etc. Buy a tool kit and learn how to use it.

3. Hobbies. Wow, I can't believe how many women don't do anything once they meet a man. Now if that isn't a reason to stay alone, I don't know what is. I'm not giving up my life for anyone. Guys don't give up poker night with their buddies. I cherish my freedom. After a clingy husband and four kids I wouldn't give up my interests for anyone, no matter how special.

4. Defend your space. Complain if he leaves socks on your floor, doesn't pick up his underpants (starched or not), invades your kitchen and thinks he knows what he's doing. Unless he wants to cook for you. Whatever you do, DON'T clean up after him. But make sure he cleans up his mess. Men are grown ups too.

5. Talk about your own interests. Guys like to talk about themselves. Too bad. Talk about yourself. You are interesting too.

We as women need to live our lives. Although I was married for a long time, my life never revolved around my husband (much to his intense disappointment). Our culture still teaches women to fetch and carry for the men in their lives. DON'T do it. We are fascinating, exciting, vivacious people. Isn't it time we actually lived like we are? Live with a man, live without a man, just don't ever live for a man.