Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Bored (or Boring)

Looking back over some of my recent quilt attempts, I've realized that they are pretty boring. I need to do something about that. So in the interest of growth, any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Coffee Consumption

I've decided to stop drinking coffee. Yesterday, I came across a link for our sustainability in the world. It is a quick little game that asks you questions about the size of your home, the amount you drive etc. I wasn't doing too badly until I reached the question about food. I had no idea that coffee is the second largest import into America after gasoline. Wow. It would take 4.5 acres to support the amount of coffee I drink. Ouch. OMG, that is horrible. So yesterday I decided to quit drinking coffee.

Embellisher talks about our urgent need to change to avert climate change. Maybe this one small thing I do will help.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Final Thoughts on Change

There is a song by One Republic that sums up this month's challenge for me. Part of the lyrics to Stop and Stare say:

"Stop and stare
I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be"
One Republic 2007

I was something I couldn't be. I could see where I wanted to be, but not how to get there, partly because I didn't know where I was. Blogging this month about change helped me identify what was missing. The harder I tried, the more resistant to change I became. Deep down inside, I knew that and changed my focus for the year. It helped, but not enough. Now to buck up, let go and move on.

p.s. Sorry I've come across as so grumpy--that is what happens when you resist changes that are necessary in your life!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Tango Bliss

Young, lived eight months in Argentina, where he learned to dance, disassociation, beautiful lead. Ah, bliss. Too bad he lives in Alaska.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Not Quite a Zipper

I should have sewn the zipper into my daughter's wedding dress. But rather than hand sew an invisible zipper into her dress, I chose to hand sew beads to a quilt. Don't ask me to explain my logic (because there isn't any).

My daughter thinking I should flip it so the light green is at the top. Any suggestions? It means I have to resew the tree-like shape on so it has the right orientation, but that is easy to do.

I had so much fun that I bought yellow, red and blue beads to add to my quilt for the April TIF. So this weekend, I need to read and make comments on two stories for my writer's group, finish the wedding dress and get the quilting done on the April project so I have time to sew on the beads. Yep, too much to do again.

Monday, April 14, 2008

What Not to Say

Yesterday I helped Richard teach another tango class at the community centre. Most of the women taking the class know absolutely nothing about dancing. They are eager and keen learners. One lady commented that she likes our teaching. She said that Richard tells them how to do a move, and I tell them why to move a certain way. As I explained how ochos work and about disassociation, she eagerly tried to put into practice the concept.

Another woman had a hard time understanding how to pivot on the ocho. She would step behind herself before turning, twisting herself into funny shapes. But she tried to understand why it wasn't working and would stop me over and over again for help, a look of pleasure on her face each time she got it right.

Then there was the "I can't". OMG, these are two words that should never be spoken by an adult. Like most follows, she stepped diagonally after the pivot, so I tried to work with her so she would step straight after the pivot. And her response: "I can't." She claimed that pivoting put too much pressure on her hips so she couldn't do what I asked. Except for one small point--she was already doing the pivot.

Here's my question, if you don't want to learn, why are you taking lessons? Why not just stay at home, or do something else. If you say to say to a teacher "I can't", there is no longer any room for teaching. It is unfortunate when we close ourselves off from learning. Learning is part of growth.

After my last post, I realized that still I wasn't embracing change and growth the way I normally would. It has been a long road back from the brink, but like Muza commented: "From now on you should be able to weather all changes that will come in your life." And she's right. A willingness to embrace change gives us the strength we need to weather them.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

More Thoughts on Change

I've been thinking more about the concept of change and what it entails. I think the core of the question (thanks Juanita for reminding me of this) is how resilient we are. Everyone goes through change, some more than others. Sudden change tests our internal resolve, the very resilience of our beings.

Several years ago, I was tested almost to the breaking. That was the year my youngest was run over by a truck, my grandfather died, I separated and my middle daughter attempted suicide. Thankfully both girls survived, but it was an intensely stressful year. I'd always thought of myself as extremely resilient until then. Almost loosing two of my daughters in one years was the worst thing I've ever endured. But we all survived.

Right now, I don't want to go through any more changes in my life. I don't want my resilience tested again. I might not have enough left. Although I know if it comes right down to it, I'd survive again. I've done it before and will find the reserves deep inside myself to do it again.

Here is the start of my April TIF piece. The springboard was menopause, another large change in my life, but one I don't mind. I'll let this sit a bit before I start to quilt it--just to see if I need to change anything first.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


A friend showed up unexpectedly at tango last night. She'd missed the last ferry back to Salt Spring, so came dancing. I offered her my couch to crash on, and we were discussing sleeping garments--can't let the poor woman sleep in her clothes after all. But, I don't think I own a nightie, or flannel jammies or well anything of that nature. I admitted I sleep in sweat pants and a fleece sweatshirt. Ooh, the images of sexiness that must provoke.

Another friend looked at me in shock, surprised I didn't own a night gown. She obviously had images of frills, lace, satin maybe. Where did she get that idea? So I asked and was told that she thought I was a 'girly girl'. Gasp. OMG, no. Not that!

"What gave you that impression?" I asked her in remarkable confusion. Girly girl? Me?

"Well, you know. The clothes. The shoes. The curves." Can't argue the curves. Or the shoes for that matter. But that makes me a... no, I can't say it again. It is just too horrible for words. I'd rather climb a tree than figure out how to put on make-up. Yep, I quilt and know how to bake extremely well, but I am not one of those. Exact opposite really.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Garbage Goddess

I was thinking of entering the "Go Green" challenge in Quilting Arts. I rummaged in my garbage can and came up with this:

I've gotten permission to use the image in the quilt, so just need to do a write up and ship it off. It might be small, but is the first quilt contest I've entered. Rather exciting!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

The Change

I figured out what to do for the TIF April challenge. In the end it was one of those duh moments brought on by yet another you guessed it--hot flash! Hah, here I sit, going through 'the change' and and it was right in front of me all along. My initial idea had to do with emotion more than anything. This will work with my initial concept. Watch this space, you'll see what I mean as I go along! Hopefully it will work the way I envision. The last two haven't, so we'll see.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Change (Will Do You Good)

Our challenge for this month is "how do you see change?" I have a love/hate relationship with change. There are two types of change that we can encounter in our lives. The first is much easier to deal with. These are the changes we initiate ourselves. We decide what to do, how and when. These are life events that we have a measure of control over. How we cope is often easier as we've weighed the pros and cons carefully before embarking on the 'adventure'.

The second change we encounter is the true measure of how we deal with change, and is the deeper, harder version. This is the version life itself throws at you--the kind with grief attached as we learn to deal with losses or unexpected change. Sudden death or unforeseen accidents bring change that is often unwelcome, always unanticipated, and therefore can be harder to deal with.

My life started on a note of change. My family had very recently gone through the death of both my dad and his father in an accident. The tragic accident occurred only three months before I was born, so I grew up with the knowledge that change is inevitable. To emphasize the point, I lost my mother in another tragic accident shortly before my fourteenth birthday. So I'm no stranger to change. That is where the hate part of the relationship comes in. I hate these kinds of changes. I'm a Scorpio. I love intensely and deeply, and the loss of those I love cuts like a knife. It is all part of change, the seasons of life etc, but I still deeply miss those I love.

Sharon's challenge strikes me as one of life's little ironies. I'd been thinking of this topic since Saturday when I was propositioned by a fellow I've known for a couple of years. His 'request' caught me rather off guard, so I waffled. Sensing it, he told me he wouldn't ask me again if I said no. Hum, blackmail. That never works with me. I'll dig in my heels instead. Which is what happened. Should have been the end of that, but instead, I found myself wondering what would have happened if I'd made that 'change' in my status of happily single and let him come home with me instead.

Frustrated with myself (partly because I'd said no and couldn't decide if it was only a fear of change), I decided to get a hair cut. Well, I really only wanted a trim--I'm rather attached to my long red hair--so specified that the length wasn't to be trifled with. And came home in tears with shoulder length hair. OMG six inches! That was when I read Sharon's posting on change. Guess sometimes I handle change with equanimity. Some times, it is a bit more challenging. I almost decided to do a quilt with six inches of symbolic red curls, but maybe not. After all, it is only hair and will grow back.