Thursday, October 19, 2006


Or Searching for Peace

Tonight at yoga, laying there after a great workout, I think I realized what I lost during the long dark tea time of my soul. My sense of peace. The ability to just chill, find great pleasure and relaxation in the little things in my life. Meditation has always been something that comes naturally to me, so I'm not sure why circumstances managed to get control of me so badly. It's not like the things I went through are the worst in my life.

Okay, maybe that isn't true. I almost lost two kids in one year, lost my grandfather and a marriage, a job and my entire support network (i.e., I moved to a new city). It is easy to forget how important our friends are when things are tough in our lives. And when they are tough, making friends is harder for me as the last thing I want to do is spill my guts to a virtual stranger.

I found myself thinking in strange ways, lost my focus and my sense of self as a result. Note to self, never lose your sense of self. Hum tricky that. You don't usually realize it's gone until you get it back.

So here I stand in my warrior pose (that's not me by the way) considering how to live my life from here. With serenity. And definitely without fear.