What it REALLY means

I received this email today on what women mean. I thought I would add some clarification on what we really mean.

Words that women use!

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Really means "You aren't listening, so do NOT say another word. And do NOT come crawling back to me when your stupid scheme fails." Can also be interpreted as I told you so (in advance).

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Hum, five minutes really does mean five minutes. Whatever. Some women just don't know how to get ready in time.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
Really means "Are you just too stupid to figure out what bugs me? OMG, you really are dumber than a sack of hammers!" Can also be interpreted as you still aren't listening.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
Really means "fine". See number one.

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
Really means "OMG, do I have to tell you and/or do everything?" And it will result in #3 if you don't figure it out. Because you still aren't listening!

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Really means "Oh, forget it. I refuse to argue about this any more" and will result in #3.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying fine.
Really means "Just forget it. You aren't listening, and you wouldn't understand anyway."

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to #3.
Really means "Youstill aren't listening!"

I do want to clarify that not all men are dummber than hammers and actually listen when their women talk. Bet they don't hear whatever, fine or just forget it. Now if only I could figure out what men really mean.