Still Dreaming of La Boca

I finished my funky little quilt. I was inspired by the garish floral fabric and created two little pieces using the flower motif. I used Derwent Graphtint pencils to colour the fabric then quilted. I'm not sure how colourfast they will be, but it is part of the experiementing.

What Next?

Tango Vita seems to have switched the rules on their proxy votes. They are now demanding that members inform them in advance if they desire to leave a proxy vote. "In addition to a direct confirmation by the absent member to John or Nora, the Directors also need to receive a proxy form duly filled out and signed by the absent member. These forms will be verified before the meeting starts at 2. Consequently, we ask you to arrive earlier with the signed proxy forms, so that we do not delay the start of the AGM." Some of our members are presently in Buenos Aires. Those members left proxy votes prior to leaving. I have no word for how upset this makes me. Here we are hoping for reconciliation, for a repair and over and over again the present board is demanding that things remain as they are.

Again, I urge members to come out and vote. We CANNOT let things go on like this. How can you slight people like this. If one of our members, presently in India, also left a proxy are you going to claim his is also a forgery? To what extent will you go to prevent change?

Dreaming of La Boca

While looking in my scrap baskets for some green fabric for the background on my next idea, I came across a small remnant of '60's floral fabric. Not even cotton, but a polyester too. I just had to use it. In another bin with assorted velvets and lame's from my days of making home made Santas, I found these small squares of fabric similar to aida cloth.

Also in my scrap basket, I found this garish pink floral--also from the 60's. I decided to use the flowers as my quilting line and quilt it from the back. My intention originally was to quilt from the back, reback and quilt again from the front. But the quilting lines disappear on the front in certain areas. I'm trying to decide whether to requilt from the back using a lighter colour or heavier thread. I don't think a metallic thread will work as it won't fit with the overall look of the piece. It reminds me a bit of La Boca.

Annual General Meeting

The date and time for the Annual General Meeting of Tango Vita was announced last night. It will be held on March 31st from 2-5pm at Henderson Hall in Oak Bay. If you feel strongly that there needs to be reconciliation and a change for the better, please come out and vote. Like a wise voice said last night "in 50 years, we won't be dancing together." There are leads in our dance community that we miss. There are friendships that have been fractured. When members of our community cry because all they want is to dance, that is NOT a good thing. If we leave it too late, we won't be able to repair it. So, let's repair this split. Let's agree that dancing at the cafe will continue and is good for our tango community. Let's agree that Martin Batchelor Gallery is also good for our community. Let's agree that diversity is a good thing. Most of all, let's stop this petty bickering and act like grown ups and dance together.

Wallflowers

From the start, this quilt hasn't been quite what I wanted. The background fabric isn't exactly right, so the flowers couldn't be done the way I had pictured them. At the beginning, it was my intention to make three-dimensional petals to surround each face. But without the Art Nouveau fabric, the lines aren't as delineated, so I used silk flowers instead. Once the pictures were appliqued inside, it started to take shape, but still needed something. Like my daughter (the real artist) said, "they look funny without hair".

I added beads, I removed beads. I added them again. Letting it sit, I pondered it from a distance. Wrong colour beads. Off course, by this time it was after five on a Sunday, so I had to wait until after work today to get the right colour.

From above, it is hard to judge how something will look from front on, so more sewing on of beads. And taking off of beads. It is hard to place beads on a vertical surface to look at from a distance. They have a tendancy to obey the laws of gravity.

As I stare some more, I think I might trim about two inches off the right hand side. The upper portion will be shortened once the quilted is done as well, which should give it a bit more balance. So, should I apolgize to those who are wallflowers, or those who aren't?

Buenos Aires

Three of our tango group leave this week for Buenos Aires. I'm very happy for them, but I sure wish I could hide in their luggage, be their luggage, or carry their luggage. I think I'd make a good sherpa. I could guide them to shoe stores. Sit quietly at milongas with them. Sigh. To think no trip in November this year. I can't see waiting until next March, so I will have to go in October. Now to find a way to get permission from my boss. Ooh that could be tricky.

Fabric Choices

The completed hands:



I have this idea in mind for the next quilt. The background fabric needs to look like vintage wallpaper, specifically art nouveau or William Morris. I have seen exactly what I'm looking for. Sometime though, I get an image in my mind and because I've looked at so much it get clouded by what I've seen and what I want it to look like. I could create my own, but the amount of labour involved to paint the fabric would be more than I think I'm ready for yet. I also decided to try something larger than the journal quilt size for this as the scale would work better larger, so I can't just print an image onto fabric (the easiest thing to do).

So I went on line. When in doubt, research. Charles Rupert has a wonderful website with fabric and wallpaper from various designers and eras, including both William Morris and Art Nouveau. I looked at samples primarily from William Morris, then went shopping only to find that no where in town carried William Morris fabric, although I could order it. I went back to my favourite quilt store and found a "do-able" fabric, but still felt frustrated that it wasn't perfect.

So back on line with the intention of ordering something. This time, looking at the same web site, I checked the Art Nouveau fabric. Most are upholstery weight, so wouldn't work. One image struck me though. The flowers would be perfect for the little faces to peek out. It reminded me very much of a Liberty of London fabric. Wait a minute, those are flowers? I purchased some of that fabric last year for kaleidoscope quilts as the repeats are so great. I thought I had looked at it and rejected it. When I checked it again, I saw that although almost perfect for image, it is too small in scale. Note to self: do not go into a project with an exact idea in mind but a maleable one. That will allow me more options.

Kitchen Renovation

The first of the contractors came to look at the mess I call a kitchen. Right now, I have a twelve by twelve (roughly) space with less counter space than a bachelor pad. You would think changing things to make it servicable would be somewhat simple, however on one wall are two large windows lower than counter height. Original to the house—built in 1912—they would be costly to change. Add to that three doorways. I thought if we moved one doorway, it would allow us to move the stove into the kitchen from the back porch and add some counter. But as we looked, it became apparent this wouldn't work. The contractor and I discussed moving doors, changing this or that. He even at one point suggested loosing my closet—hello, like that would work! Tango clothes!

An hour and a half later, we had a workable plan. The original idea to move the doorway stays, but we will also have to change the entry to the stairs to the porch area. This will allow a wall to be created where the stairs presently are, stretching the kitchen about three feet. It will be a funky kitchen, but hey, it is a funky house.

The Hands

I've almost completed both the views of the Tango Hands and am not happy with either. The first idea with the three dimensional sleeve is definitely the best, but still not right. I'm not sure whether to just leave them both or be stubborn and finish them. In the old days, they would have gone into a UFO pile, but I would prefer to press through just for the satisfaction of saying they are done. I have an amazing idea for the next quilt and wasn't able to find fabric in town for the background. I need a William Morris print--or something similar--as it must look like old fashioned wall paper. And that is all I am going to tell you.

Irony

For any Tango Vita members, please read your latest newsletter carefully. Well worded, but too bad they don't see the irony when they say they refuse to support a business, but continue to allow both Rene and Lilliana to teach (both board members by the way). They refuse to support Cafe Casablanca, refuse to support Brent and Hedy, and refuse to support David and Diane. It is on the other hand perfectly acceptable to allow others to run a business under the umbrella of Tango Vita. Tango by the Sea would not have been held on a conflicting night if certain members were teaching that night.

Another point that must be made regards the Tango Vita web site. Teachers are supposed to have access to the web site. Last year, all the passwords were revoked. This includes the password for those in Port Townsend (who have nothing to do with the politics dividing our small community). James and Terri were given a new password when they complained. No one else was. This indicates that although Tango Vita claims to support its members, in reality it only supports a select group of members.

From an outsiders perspective (mine) it always came across as a vindictive move. I had no loyalty to Tango Vita at the start, only to tango itself, and to a group of friends, many of whom were also members of Tango Vita. As I refuse to choose that side, I am noticing that those "friends" will no longer dance with me or speak to me. As a result, I have finally become a member of Tango Vita. The question is, do you want "members that strongly support the existence of our Argentine Tango Association as it is now", or do you want to grow as an association, as friends and as a community?

Tango Hands

I've been working on the fourth small quilt (OMG, this is addictive). The sleeve looked fabulous, but once I appliqued her arm on top, it wouldn't lay flat. I left it in frustration and headed to bed. When I have a concept in mind and it just won't work, sometimes it is best to just let it be. Five minutes later, I was up again using the same idea in a different manner. I took both to class last night, in about the same state of unfinishedness. The census was unanimous, the better of the two was the one that won't lay flat, but a couple of suggestions on fixing the problem should solve it--a nip here, a tuck there. Good thing, as that is the one I prefered.

It's All in the Name

I was talking to a friend the other night. We were discussing more on the topic of why some women dance and others don't. He mentioned that the woman in question is sweet. Sweet? I'm sorry, but when you get to be a certain age, sweet just isn't how I would want to be thought of. That might work for some, but I stopped being sweet somewhere around the age of… well, not very old. Might have something to do with the fact that I was only nine when I had my first kiss.

I would rather be thought of as fiery, sexy, sensual, passionate, intelligent etc. Can't quite wrap my head around the idea of being sweet. I doesn't work with sensual. Or passionate. Or tango.

Tango Quilts

I was working on this idea and couldn't figure out if it would work. I made up a sleeve and pinned it on the background.

I layed the photo on top to see if her arm would also work. Wow! I'm still a little overwhelmed about the whole arm made flesh, but one step at a time!

Japan

Last night a friend called and asked if I'd like to go to Japan with her this summer. She is going for her son's wedding, and he will pay for accommodation for herself and a friend. So she called me. Tonight we booked our flights! Wow, I'm going to Japan in July. Don't you just love sponteniety!

Tango Hierarchy

In Buenos Aires, the hierarchy of dance was quite set. Beginners had to earn their place on the dance floor. Touristas rated lower than beginners until they proved themselves and then were danced with according to ability. Tangueros watched from the sidelines assessing posture, footwork, and connection. And it was hard to break in as someone had to take that initial risk.

In Victoria, it seems that beginners rate higher than those that have earned their place. I question this. Is it their personality? Ability? I'm all for working with our beginners to get them up to speed, but not when it comes at the cost of leaving out those who have danced for years.

Broken Heart

My heart is now finished, and I'm very happy with the end results. I have an idea for the next one, purchased fabrics, laid them out on the cutting table and wondered if I was on the "right" track. It seems light, almost boring compared to the last one. From something that makes a statement to "just because". Hum, is this what I want?

A fairly firm idea has been sitting in the back of my mind for a series of tango quilts. These will stretch my boundaries in ways I can't even describe. Good thing they are so small! Hand are next, so I spent time searching through photos for just the right angle and position. Snip, clip, enlarge. And this is perfect.

Hum, think I will do the beach scene, just so I can figure out how exactly those hands are going to work. Eeep.

Holidays

I've been planning to go back to Argentina in November again this year. I've mentioned it at work on numerous occasions. Not so subtle hints like "When I go back to Argentina in November..." Then on Friday, my boss announced he and his wife are going on a cruise from the 11th to the 18th of, oh gee--November. And of course both of us can't be away at the same time. That's the problem when you both look after the publishing end of things.

Okay, that's fine. I'll spend Christmas in Argentina this year. "Well, my wife and I are thinking of taking the kids to Florida at Christmas to visit her parents. The kids haven't seen their grandparents in a while." I refer you to comment the first regarding not being away at the same time.

Great, just great. The two best times to spend in Argentina weather wise are March and November. I'm starting a kitchen renovation, so March is out. Now November is out. Guess I will just have to go to Portland Tangofest in October. It's always nice to have options.

Closed vs. Open Minded

According to the latest Tango Vita newsletter, "the DJs make sure that twice a week there is music for us to dance to that ensures that we have, in Victoria, the same tango experience dancers have in the best Buenos Aires milongas. Dancers coming to the Gallery are sure to have no surprises: they will only dance to the tunes of authentic Argentine tangos, milongas and valses."

Note the statement of "no surprises". This is a direct slam the music played at Cafe Casablanca, as well as the "Open Minded Milonga". I recently spent three weeks in Buenos Aires. During that time, at one of the best Buenos Aires milongas, I had the priviledge of watching Narco Tango perform live. Authentic Argentine tango. But nuevo music. Research the history of tango music itself. Research the history of Astor Piazolla specifically. His music was originally shunned because of it's sound. Now we commonly dance to Piazolla and consider it "traditional".

Tradition is simply how we have always done it. I go back to the quilting I'm doing at this point in time. I am working on a very traditional piece, but have been caught up in the intrigue of art quilts. Traditional quilting is easy. It takes no thought as the path has been set for me already. It has its place in my life, and always will. But the other stretches my boundaries, my thought proccesses, my creative juices. It makes me feel alive.

I want in my life to feel fully alive. My experience in Buenos Aires proved to me that there is so much more to tango than I had ever imagined. On the dance floor, their dancers have moves that I only experienced previously in Seattle and Port Townsend. Dancing is tight and intimate—necessary with crowded dance floors. But the moves had all the elements of the nuevo tango we dance, only with the energy of close embrace. It stretched my boundaries and made me feel alive.

So here's the question. As dancers, which would you prefer? To be closed to new ideas? To only be allowed to hear music that is chosen by a select few? Or do you want to feel alive? I dance authentic argentine tango to a wide range of music—and enjoy it all.

The Heart

For the first time in years I'm creating art. I have missed creative expression in my life so much. Although I've done hand work for almost as long as I can remember, there is a large difference between craft and creation. Using a pattern, the outcome it already pre-determined. It is a bit like having the picture on the box in front of you while creating a puzzle—it takes the mystery out of everything.

I had an idea for the heart in the back of mind. It sat there formulating and morphing the entire time I worked on the shoes. Yesterday, I spent time on the internet looking for patterns that would work for the quilting on the background. Here is a shift in direction for me—quilt first, finish later. Because a large portion of the vision I have in my mind includes flowers that aren’t flat, I knew I would have to quilt it before I finished it.

I also had an image of how the flowers grew out of the heart itself. I found several pages of designs that I thought might work. At this point, everything still had a nebulous feel in my mind, an idea half formed and still mutable. The designs I thought would work the best wound up tossed aside for one that I had some doubts about. As I laid fiddley bits on top, envisioning flowers, butterflies and more, I became so excited. The quilting solidified the vision to become exactly what I wanted!

Tango Politics

I have never been a member of Tango Vita. At the time I started dancing, the rifts had begun as well. I came into tango via Cafe Casablanca and support it fully. Because I did not want to feel that my loyalty was divided, chose not to become a member. The time has come to do something about that though. Through membership, my one vote will speak up for not just the cafe, but for what I feel is right. Slighting people is NEVER right.

David sent out a great email the other day. We need to continue to reflect on the purpose of Tango Vita in Victoria. At present, it seems to exist purely to promote a few members, ignoring members, teachers and venues. Here (in edited version) are some of his comments—in case you didn't see them. Think about it. Can we continue to call Tango Vita and association if it ignores over half of its paid members?

... but on this rare occasion of the 10th Anniversary of Tango in Victoria the Mad Hatters have put on their thinking caps instead to produce a What If scenario like this:

What If ...
A way could be found to heal the wounds that have been paining our tiny tango world so unnecessarily for the last few years.

What If ...
We could return to the good old practices that governed our tango lives so well for the first several years.

What If ...
We set them down as A Renewed Association's Ten Commandments

I
An Association which encourages ALL types of of tango styles to be danced and enjoyed in Victoria.

II
An Association which encourages ALL types of tango music to be played and enjoyed in Victoria.

III
An Association which uses its funds for the good of ALL members and Local Tango Activities.

IV
An Association which schedules its own Events to complement, not compete, with other Local Tango Events.

V
An Association which offers variety in its own Events and encourages members to hold other events as well.

VI
An Association whose Fair and Open Website lists ALL Local Tango Events and encourages members to contribute to its postings.

VII
An Association whose Fair and Open Website lists ALL members who act as DJs and promotes ALL the Local Venues in which tango is danced.
VIII
An Association that treats ALL Teachers Equally -- and whose Presidents and other Board Members excuse themselves from teaching while holding positions of authority.

IX
An Association that, as much as possible, tries to balance tangueros and tangueras together on the Board.

X
An Association that, as much as possible, alternates between male and female Presidents.

Justice for all requires a delicate balancing act. We know that emotions have been strong, feelings have been hurt, and positions have been taken which are difficult to change—but change is essential if harmony is to be restored. We believe just as strongly that recent Executive Boards—while trying to do their best for the small picture of tango in Victoria—have lost sight of the word's full and inclusive meaning. That meaning—the promotion and growth of ALL aspects of Argentine Tango, through an ASSOCIATION of lovers of the Dance and musica in ALL its rich diversity—was the collective beating heart of the handful of individuals who came together nine years ago to form the First Executive.

Recent decisions by the Executive Board of Tango Vita have suffered from narrowed vision. Their laudable attempt did manage to provide a place of refuge for a minority of members who longed for the feeling of security obtained by "the safety of familiar things in a home of one's own."

HOWEVER, what should have evolved and broadened into a true ASSOCIATION of ALL the rich talents and individuals that were the inevitable outgrowth of our first seven years of successfully encouraging Tango diversity in Victoria, instead became identified with a single and separate physical location.

It is undeniable that part of our local tango world still feels a need for such a haven BUT the "Cosy Haven" should be run by that group of dancers themselves, with a name and distinctive identity in the same way that Passion for Tango, and Mano a Mano, and Tango Caminar, and our own Tango Inspiracion have evolved.

The incoming, newly elected Board, might even see fit to advance a couple of months' rent to help such a "Cosy Haven" group get on its feet.

No longer tied psychologically to a single physical location Tango Vita would then advance into our Second Decade in a liberated state: an ASSOCIATION whose vision is broad enough in spirit to feel equally at home in ANY venue, and welcoming in a TRUE PARTNERSHIP the changes that are inevitable and desirable in any growing art form, and embracing equally ALL the Advocates and Promoters who bring about such exciting changes.

In fact, your two Mad Hatters (David and Diane) are NOT running for office because the New Tent needs NEW People. It needs tangueras and tangueros who bring only willing hearts and open minds. Lovers of Argentine Tango in ALL its magnificent forms of choreography, and music from ALL its golden eras. Tangueros and tangueras who can't wait to dance to that music.

For the entry cost of two milongas, take out a Membership if you don't already have one. Watch for the list of Nominees that will be posted. Ask those Nominees if they agree with our Ten Commandments for a Renewed Association. We feel confident that their answer will be a resounding YES—But if it isn't... Nominate Yourself. Come to the AGM. And Vote with both dancing feet for the last letter of the word VITA ... ASSOCIATION

Buenos Aires Shoes

I received an email from a friend the other day with a list of places to purchase shoes in Buenos Aires. They are listed by area with web sites etc. I’m not sure how I missed some of those stores—GretaFlora and Mala Yunta. Walked right by them and didn’t see them. How bizzare is that?

My teal shoes, zebra stripped shoes and the cream shoes with the flashy red heels all came from Lolo Gerard.

Aurora Lubiz is only there two days a week, so you will have to contact her if you want to see her shoes. I’m not sure what her shoes are like as I didn’t have time to connect with her.

Looking over the list, I see stores I checked out but didn’t purchase shoes at and others I didn’t know of. Hum, more shopping next time!

Abasto:
Susana Artesanal - Anchorena 537 -- 4865-3713
www.shoes-susanaartesanal.com
Mala Yunta - Anchorena 563 -- 4867-2457 malayunta04@ciudad.com.ar
GretaFlora - Anchorena 575 -- 4776-6807/cell 15-4991-8428
www.gretaflora.com
Lolo Gerard - Anchorena 607 - 4962-3860 www.lologerard.com
Madreselva -- Corrientes 3190 -- 6311-4466
www.madreselvazapatos.com.ar
Tango8 -- Anchorena 602 -- 4864-0471 www.tango8.com

Balvanera:
Susana Artesanal - Riobamba 448 - 4953-6874
www.shoes-susanaartesanal.com
Neo Tango -- Sarmiento 1938 - 4951-8694 www.neotangoshoes.com
Tango Leike -- Sarmiento 1947 - www.tangoleike.com

Caballito:
Candela -- Bravard 1194 by appt. only 4854-0990

Colegiales:
Delia Gardel -- Virrey Loreto 3124 -- 4552-9661 deliadegardel@yahoo.com.ar

Palermo Viejo:
Fattomano - Guatamala 4464 - 4832-3156 www.fattomano.com.ar

Retiro:
Comme il Faut - Arenales 1239 #3M -- 4815-5690 commeilfaut@netizen.com.ar

San Nicolas (downtown):
Centro Artesanal del Tango - Suipacha 256 -- 4326-5377
Darcos - Suipacha 259- 4326-0232 www.darcostango.com
Flabella - Suipacha 263 - 4322-6036 www.flabella.com
Scarpe Mahara - Suipacha 332 -- 4328-3528 scarpemahara@hotmail.com
Bailarin Porteno - Suipacha 251 - 4390-4067 bailarintango@yahoo.com.ar
Tango Brujo - Esmeralda 754 - 4325-8264 www.tangobrujo.com
Mirtha Paulo - Esmeralda 461 - 4328-5970 mirthapaulo@hotmail.com
Victorio - Montevideo 224 - 4375-0237 www.victoriotangoshoes.com.ar
Alanis -- Av. R. Saenz Pena 936 (Diagonal Norte) --
alanistangoshoes@yahoo.com.ar

San Telmo:
Delie shoes -- Piedras 843 - 4300-8521 www.delieshoes.com.ar
Aurora Lubiz -- Carlos Calvo 960 P.B. 3 -- 15-5699-3537
www.auroralubizropa.com.ar
Artesanos para el Tango -- Av. San Juan 410 -- 4300-9845
Artesanias Ar-Sil -- Avenida Juan Garay 908 - Tel.4362-3936
ar_sil_leo@yahoo.com.ar

Lovely Legs

I spent time in the fabric store the other day looking at fabric looking for fish net stockings. Cream background, pale black square. Of course, there wasn’t anything exactly the way I wanted. But I found some pale tan with a wash of purple. I also picked up several other choices, just in case. And now my little lady now has a stunning set of legs. Too perfect, don’t you think.



The piece is actually bigger than a traditional Journal Quilt, as it is approximately 17" square. Guess this makes it an Art Quilt, not a Journal Quilt.

I've started the next one already. The idea is a broken heart, repaired somewhat, held together by what ever is at hand, in this case snap swivels used in fishing to hold lures and weights on. There will be bleedy bits coming out of the heart, but on the ends will be flowers. If you can't mend your heart, grow flowers instead.

Valentine’s Day

Well, the “big day” is less than a week away. Do you all have your chocolates? Your flowers? Your expectations set too high? Got to say, one good thing about being single is that there aren’t any expectations. Can’t be disappointed by what your guy doesn’t bring you when you don’t have a guy. It helps to prevent the whole drama thing.

The Politics of Dancing

Two things that don’t belong together. A bit like church and state. When one person, or group of people attempt to impose their will on others rather than allowing them to think for themselves, it is never a good situation. Think jihad. Like little kids in a sandbox, screaming I’m right, it is childish and immature. Do what you will where dance is concerned. Dance at the gallery if that is what your heart leads you to do. Dance at the cafe if that is what you prefer, but please, stop this childishness. We all make choices. Your choices are not better than my choices, they are just your choices. That doesn’t make them right.

I have the hardest time understanding why some on the Tango Vita board, or members of Tango Vita are so opposed to Cafe Casablanca. Here we have a warm setting, nice seating, the ability to dance as long as we like without cleanup. We are treated like family by Chuck and Eve. Certain people then have re-payed that generosity by claiming it isn’t like “this” in Buenos Aires. Hey, I have news for you guys—every milonga I attended in Buenos Aires had a club owner and staff.

I have been part of several church splits. They started very similar to what is happening here. The “old guard” gets upset because of music, worship styles, change in pastor and suddenly nothing is right. They lobby for things to remain the same, claiming that everyone else is destroying the spirit of worship etc. This is much the same. Change is frightening. It requires an open mind, and a willingness to accept those that are different.

Ultimately, no matter what the outcome of the upcoming Tango Vita elections, I will continue to support Cafe Casablanca. Yesterday, I was part of a survey on health and Canadians. One section dealt with our support network. I was asked whether there were people in my network that I could call on for home support if necessary, hugs when I needed them, people to talk to about issues that were stressful. My answer was yes to all these questions—I have a great support network. If I leave the Cafe, I leave my support network. Who in their right mind would do that? And thanks to all of you that I consider part of my support network!

Journey of a Journal

The top is almost finished. I had a bit of frustration on the weekend once the shoes were complete. I was trying to create the illusion of a dress, but it wasn’t working. Each attempt looked like the fabric had just been dumped at the top without any thought. It wasn’t cohesive. I spent the next two evenings at tango watching feet and legs, but it still wasn’t forming in my mind. When I thought about it, the dress idea wasn’t the image I wanted. It felt too heavy somehow.

So I spent some time watching tango videos on YouTube. One video clicked. Her footwork was exactly the image I wanted. So I watched, rewound, watched, paused, and watched again. There! The pause button froze her feet in the precise movement I was looking for. I started to lay cord to create the illusion of her legs, running back and forth between the sewing room and the computer. Hey, wait a minute, this thing is a lap top. Never said I was the quickest one in the room—and I’m the only one in the room! Once the laptop was on my sewing table, things fell into place much quicker and now she has legs. Now I think she needs stockings though.

Dance Partner

Before I left for Argentina, I'd been contemplating how nice it would be to have a dance partner. Since returning, I've realized that if I am going to continue to dance, it might not just be something that is nice, it might be something that is necessary. Here's the thing though, unlike Terry, I don't want to train a partner either. I made a promise to myself four years ago when I started this that I would not tell a man how to dance. I know this leaves me almost no options. Not like I'm asking for much right--unattached, dances at my level, willing to learn and possibly travel for workshops etc. Please submit your resume stating dance experience, etc. Fringe benefits based on dance chemistry and previous experience. Wimps need not apply. All assholes will be carefully screened.

I think that about covers it.

Creative Expression

Quilting and tango have two things in common--artistic expression. Quilting is a form of singular artistic expression. As I was working on the shoes, I found that same sense of inner stillness I find during a great dance of tango. The two forms are very different. One relies completely on yourself, and one relies on another, but the end result is the same. Athletes describe it as the "zone", but this is such an inadequate term for the joy I get from creating.

Tango News

Interesting to note that in this weeks Tango Vita newsletter, Cafe Casablanca does exist. Only one line, but it is nice to know that an email to the board regarding the lack of mention helped a small amount. June’s Passion for Tango event is now also listed. She had also been excluded in the mention of upcoming events. Please note the calander link at the side. This has listing of upcoming tango events for people to participate in.

Journal Quilts

Tuesday night was the first class on Journal Quilts. These small quilts have taken the quilt world by storm. The size of a piece of paper, they are a journal of ideas, found objects, places, events and more. Susan explained where journal quilts came from, we viewed a few samples of hers as well as magazines. By the end of her explanation, I was so excited I could hardly sit still (so what else is new). We were asked if we had any ideas. Well, duh—shoes! Or tango. Or tango and shoes.

By this time, the other woman in the class was a bit overwhelmed and had no ideas. Susan had an envelope with words printed on a card. We were each asked to pick three words without looking, and we could then use these as a springboard for the first quilt. I drew first, putting the cards upside down on the table as I took them out of the envelope. While the other lady drew her cards, I turned mine over. And howled with laughter. There in front of me were the words horse, triangle and SHOE. Well, of course!

I walked over to my bag, took out a shoe and placed it on the table. Susan and Pat looked at me in shock. What, doesn't everyone carry and extra set of stilettos in their bag? We chose fabric (red velvet) and embellishments. These are art quilts, so our imagination dictates the direction we go. I drew stylized shoes on a piece of paper, cut and fused. And had to leave! That was it, time’s up. I left with four small pieces of red pinned to a background, a bag of fiddley bits and a head full of ideas.

At tango later, I was talking to Carolyn about the class. I told her about the shoes and how I wanted to use tango images to start from.

“Oh, I can just see a shoulder, with a lace collar.” She said.

Ooh, yes—I have the perfect lace collar from a baby dress salvaged years ago and stuck in a drawer. By this time I’m bouncing some more. Small images of sections of dancers—a shoe, a shoulder, a face, hands—aligned on a wall to form the illusion of dancers. I can see it already!

Unbalanced life?

We all go through phases in our lives and I am trying to figure out the next phase of my life. My divorce devistated me, but since my trip, this is the best I have felt in years. As a result, I’ve started to wonder if I spend too much time at tango. The lack of dance was grating on me even though this is something I love to do. Because I wasn’t dancing, I forgot what drew me to the dance in the first place: the sense of connection; the beauty of the music; the conversations with friends.

Recently I had a conversation regarding balance in our lives. Her comment was that too much tango makes for an unbalanced life. I can’t help but question that. Yes, I dance three or four nights a week, but I also quilt, read, write, spend time with my family and more. Let’s not forget shoe shopping. That is a whole life in and of itself! How do we determine balance, and how can one person judge what works as balance for another person? I’ll often sew for three hours when I come home from work, and getting together with friends and sharing a dance or two is a wonderful way to finish off an evening.

Tango is what I choose to do (among other things). As long as I don’t forget that dancing goes in cycles. Sometimes the time on the floor is plentiful, sometimes the time watching is plentiful. But behind it all is the music, the friendships. These are the things that bring most of us together night after night. And hey, I’m not the only one there most evenings. Does this mean we all lead unbalanced lives?

Blue, Blue Quilting

I love winter sales. The mall right now is full of sidewalk sales (not that they have a sidewalk), and Fabricland was no exception. On my recent trip to Satin Moon, I stood looking at all their blue fabrics wondering if I should get some for the quilt I was buying batting for. At close to $18/meter, you want to be very sure you need it first. Of course, I didn't purchase any. I was hoping that somewhere in my piles and piles of fabric that I'd have a piece big enough. And I didn't. Six meters is a lot of fabric. I had a piece that was close, but that only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, so the next day after work I hopped on a bus after work and headed to Fabricland. Not that I mind. A fabric store is probably my favourite place to be--sorry all you tango people, but in a fabric store, I'm allowed to fondle fabric to my hearts content. Men start to wonder when you fondle them aimlessly. My own fault really, I tend to touch things I like.

Back at home, I had a new set of treasures laid out ready to go as Fabricland had cottons on sale for as low as $3/meter! But I'm in the middle of another project similar to the first. Rather than put everything away and finish the first quilt, I'll piece this one and quilt the two at the same time. My youngest commented that I like blue quilts. I don't know where she gets that idea!

Quilting

I signed up today for a quilt class today. It started innocently enough. After work yesterday, I wandered down to Satin Moon to buy batting to finish a quilt I’m working on.

“Do you want a recipe?” the woman asked. I was hoping for some cool quilt pattern, so I agreed. (Turned out to be for Basil Cake.)

“How about a class list?” Hum, quilt classes. I’ve only taken one quilt class in 20+ years of quilting. Could offer something interesting. With over 500 members in the quilt guild, the level of quilting in Victoria is phenomenal. We got talking about their upcoming workshops and some sounded quite interesting, so I took a list to look over once I got home. The class on dying (the most interesting to me) is on Monday morning. Damn, I think my boss would notice if I was sick every Monday for the next 5 weeks, so that one was out. Unfortunately, most of their classes are during the day as well.

Tuesday evenings is a workshop on Journal Quilts taught by Susan Purney-Mark. Nope, tango. Hey, wait a minute I go and sit Tuesday nights anyway. That will work. Cool. Maybe I’ll even know someone. I also discovered they have a drop in Stitch and Sewcial on Friday nights, so might check that out as well.

All that, and in the end I don’t have enough fabric for the backing. And I’m almost out of white cotton thread. Oh, too bad, I’ll have to make another trip to the fabric store. Good thing it’s one of my favourite places!

Dance Etiquette

Some of us will not ask a guy to dance. I would no more ask a man to dance than I would ask a man on a date. So as a result, I’m the one that gets to sit on the side lines and watch. Do you women want to give others a chance? Rather than asking the men, making them feel obligated, if you let them ask us, we will all get a chance. Richard confessed to me last night that he has almost quit dancing here because women come and harrass him to dance. Last week, one woman came before he'd even taken his street shoes off demanding to know if he was ready yet. Is it any wonder then that some of us aren’t asked.

Buying Shoes in Argentina

Last night at tango, I was asked where to buy shoes in Buenos Aires. I could never tell another person where to purchase shoes. Shoes are an expression of self, and very personal. And yes, this comes from a woman who until recently only owned two pairs of shoes. But no fear, I've rectified the situation and have been making up for lost time at an alarming rate!

I went to Buenos Aires to do three things. Shop for shoes, take lessons and dance my little heart out. Shop for shoes I did. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to hit all the shoe stores. There were a few that in my wanderings I couldn't find and some that I didn't have time to connect with. Aurora Lubiz operates out of her apartment and is only available two days a week, so never managed to see her shoes, even though she was only a block away from Lina’s.

The choices in Buenos Aires are overwhelming. I bought eight pairs of shoes for myself, one pair for my daughter and three pairs for my granddaughter. And I could easily have purchased more. But my suitcase (that would be the one I purchased while there) was only so big. Note to self: take an empty suitcase for shoes next time!

Best buying experience: Comme Il Faut. They have a glass case on the wall with maybe 12 pairs of shoes on display, but this is no where near what they actually have. Comme Il Faut has no web site so you can't preview anything. They receive new stock regularly, so more than one visit will net you multiple buying experiences. I was a good girl and only went once as I knew I would succumb to the magic of the experience. Where else can you have someone bring boxes and boxes of shoes for you to try on.

Least expensive shoes: Lolo Gerard. When I was there, there were shoes ranging in price from 80 pesos to 109 pesos in a sale area. She has a wonderful selection of beautiful shoes that were only 190 pesos, so a bit less than other stores.

Several stores are located in the same area: Madreselva, Susan Villarroel, Lolo Gerrard and Tango 8 are all located within a one block radius of Abasto Shopping centre. Flabella, Darcos, Suipcacha 256 are all located side by side on Suipacha near Confiteria Ideal.

The hardest thing when it comes to shoes is what a person is looking for. From serviceable to so damn sexy they hurt, Buenos Aires has it all. I am already dreaming of the next pair. I saw some at Susan Villarroel that I didn't buy because I was on a mission for teal shoes by then and these were red. But I can't stop thinking about them. I dreamt of Buenos Aires last night. Must be all the talk about shoes.

Calendar

Dance where you will. Mention everything. In the interest of fairness, here is what I am aware of in our tango community (both sides). My apologies if I miss anyone or get dates and times wrong. I have limited information on some events. I’ve added a calendar on the blog and will continue to update with things of interest in our community. If you are aware of an event not listed, please let me know.

SAT January 27
Video Show and Milonga at Martin Batchelor Gallery. A video about Juan Carlos Copes. Video Showing starts at 8:45pm. Milonga at 9:45pm. $4/members; $6/non-members and includes entrance to the milonga. 712 Cormorant St.
Milonga at Norm's Place. Goodies and punch available during milonga. 7pm Workshop. 8-11pm dancing. $7/advance $10/at the door. 6731 Aulds Road, Nanaimo. Gwen 247-9756 or wannadance@shaw.ca.

SUN January 28
Tango Pot Luck Brunch at Jim Swanston's. Please bring your favorite brunch dish to share, and BYOD. Coffee and tea will be provided. 11am-2pm. 1017 Oliphant St (between Cook and Vancouver, at the Cook St Village). 382-7969.

SAT February 3
Fin-de-siecle Buenos Aires: Birthplace of the Tango. UVic Lecture Series. By instructor Peter Rogers. $20 + GST. 1-3pm. For a complete description of each course call the university at 721-7797.
Tango Vita Monthly Milonga at Lynda Raino's Dance Studio. 715 Yates Street, 3rd floor. $6/members;$8/non-members.

THURS February 8
Neo-Tango On The Edge, an evening presented by Passion For Tango. Music, movement and discussion, with Tango Abrazo’s Robert Mari and performances by Brent and Hedy. Multicultural Centre on Broad Street. Check back for details.

SAT February 10
The History of Tango Dance: In Search of Artistic Freedom. UVic Lecture Series. Instructors Rene and Hilda Alfaro. $20 + GST. 1-3pm. For a complete description of each course call the university at 721-7797.

THURS TO MON February 15-19
10th Annual Portland ValenTango. Cut off date for the full workshop pass discount ($150 vs. $175) is Feb 5. tango@claysdancestudio.com or www.claysdancestudio.com.

SAT February 17
The History of Tango Music and Tango Orchesras. UVic Lecture Series. Instructor Kanstantin Zahariev. $20 + GST. 1-3pm. For a complete description of each course call the university at 721-7797.

FRI February 23
Alicia Pons at the Manresa Castle, Port Townsend Washington. Alicia is one of the most sought-after tangueras in the social tango scene in Buenos Aires. Alicia will be conducting a two part series of workshops detailed as follows: Class One (Intermediate Tango)—Mastering body language. Talking with your body through clear weight changes, balance, shared axis, and connection to your partner. Crossing: Going to this signature step in tango from a walk or in place with greater body control. Stop Steps: Creative variations when the line of dance halts. 1:15-2:45pm. Class Two (Intermediate and Advanced Intermediate Tango)—The Seductive Conversation: Leading pauses for the woman's creativity. Combinations: Ochos with pivots in milonguero style; voleos and sacadas respecting the space on the dance floor. 3pm-4:30pm. $25/Single Class Price. $40/Two Class Price. Milonga at the Manresa Castle 6pm. $15 includes a light buffet! You may purchase tickets at Cheri Raab's Body Shop on 218 Taylor St, in Port Townsend 360-385-1341 or contact Naoko Oguchi at onaoko2000@yahoo.com to sign up for classes or to pre-register for the milonga.

SAT February 24
Tango and Film. UVic Lecture Series. Instructor Kitty Hoffman, PhD. $20 + GST. 1-3pm. For a complete description of each course call the university at 721-7797.
Milonga at Norm's Place. Goodies and punch available during milonga. 7pm Workshop. 8-11pm dancing. $7/advance $10/at the door. 6731 Aulds Road, Nanaimo. Gwen 247-9756 or wannadance@shaw.ca.

SAT Marh 3
Tango and Argentinean Literature. UVic Lecture Series. Instructor Dan Russek. $20 + GST. 1-3pm. For a complete description of each course call the university at 721-7797.

SAT March 10
The Visual Arts of Argentinean Realism and Tango. UVic Lecture Series. Instructor Silvia Bonet. $20 + GST. 1-3pm. For a complete description of each course call the university at 721-7797.
Milonga at Norm's Place. Goodies and punch available during milonga. 7pm Workshop. 8-11pm dancing. $7/advance $10/at the door. 6731 Aulds Road, Nanaimo. Gwen 247-9756 or wannadance@shaw.ca.

SAT April 21
Stars On Stage fundraising event, presented by DANCE VICTORIA. Brent and Hedy are introducing celebrity Times-Colonist reporter Grania Litwin to the pleasures of the Argentine tango. Grania and Brent will perform on stage at the MacPherson Theatre. Keep checking for details.

FRI TO SUN September 14-16
Ten Years Of Tango In Victoria Weekend. Presented in cooperation with Tango Inspiriacion, this exciting event celebrates the Argentine Tango's arrival in Victoria. Live band Tango Paradiso, featuring composer/virtuoso Doug Schmidt on the Bandoneon, will play at a Grand Ball at the Edelweiss in James Bay. The weekend will include two milongas at the Cafe Casablanca. Special guest teachers Tony and Ilanna from Seattle.

ONGOING
Open-Minded Milonga at Cafe Casablanca, hosted by DJ David and Tango Inspiracion. Starts at 9pm. Tuesdays. $4. 2524 Bridge St. 389-0222.
Milonga at Martin Batchelor Batchelor Gallery. Wednesdays and Saturdays. Preceded by tango lessons. Wednesdays: Jorge and Liliana. Saturdays: Rene and Hilda. Milonga: $4/members;$6/non-members. 712 Cormorant St.
Milonga Caminar at Cafe Casablanca. Traditional and nuevo Argentine tango music and surprises. Hosted by Tango Caminar's Hedy and DJ Brent or guest DJs. Starts at 9 pm. $4. 2524 Bridge St. 389-0222.
LA Milonga Alternativa at Cafe Casablanca. 6:30-8:30 pm. Saturdays. $2. 2524 Bridge St. 389-0222.
Milonga By Request at Cafe Casablanca. As part of the DJ Project bring your favourite songs on a CD to give to the DJ to play. $4. Sundays.

Discrepancy

According to the latest Tango Vita newsletter, one of the purposes of their organization is "to promote interest in Argentinean Tango dancing and its culture."

So how come over half of their members don't appear to exist as far as their newsletter is concerned? Four nights a week, Argentinean Tango is promoted at Cafe Casablanca through teaching, dancing, and more. How come we don't exist? Not one mention in the newsletter of an upcoming workshop in September with Tony and Ilana from Seattle--wonderful teachers of Argentinean Tango. Not one mention of practica's held on Tuesday evening and Sunday afternoon, both of which will promote Argentinean Tango.

If you are going to claim to promote an interest in tango, you must mention everything that is happening within your dance community or else say that you exist to promote Tango Vita alone.

Tango Whore

Digruntled, pissed off and sure that once again I'd wind up sitting in a corner, I still put out the effort and went to dance. I'd had a conversation earlier with a friend that went something like this:

"Come for a while, then we'll go to the legion at about 10:30."

"I don't want to go in until later, mayber 9:30. That doesn't leave very much time."

"Okay, we'll leave later then. Wear a dress that works for swing and we can go to Swan's later."

"I don't want to wear a dress. I was thinking of wearing jeans. And I've tried swing and salsa. All I want is to tango."

"Gee, there is no pleasing you tonight." Yeah, that was for sure. PMS, menopause. And no dancing. Makes for some grumpy woman. And for those of you not in the know, menopause causes PMS even when you don't MS. And it is killer PMS too.

As we were talking, though I realized since coming back from Argentina, my dress has been much more casual. In Buenos Aires, the tourists often stand out like a sore thumb as they are the ones with low cut dresses, mini skirts, baubles and glitter. The Argentinean women dress casually, often in jeans, or plain skirts and tops. Because I naturally gravitate towards a more casual look, it was easy to follow. And it made no difference to the amount I danced.

Digging through my closet nets many tourista dresses. Red? Nope not that one. Too short. Don't feel like it. This one? Also red. Nope. Ooh, forgot about this BCBG black dress. Got it on eBay just before my trip and I've only worn it once. Black sequined number with gauze over silver. Sexy. Fine, fine, I'll wear a dress. Garnets bought in Buenos Aires at a flea market, fishnet capri stockings and red shoes and I was set to go.

And it worked. Last night finally felt like I was home again. After almost two months of very few dances, all my favourite leads (less one) spinned me around the room. Guess I have to remember to dress up. I'm a barbie girl...

Grand Baby

One benefit to dancing fewer nights will be more frequent visits with my granddaughter. When asked how she is, sometimes it is hard to answer. Between my schedule and my daughters, visits often prove to be infrequent.

Watching a grandchild grow is more tenuous in many ways. An automatic bond exists between a mother and her child that needs to be formed as a grandparent. Each time I see her, is like the first time. What an absolute delight this little girl is. Her personality is just her own, and so evident when you don’t see her every day. It is so different being a grandparent. I can observe so much more, little expressions of wonder on her face, the constant exploration of her surroundings. The need to know and learn.


I remember the delight of motherhood, holding a fragile new infant, watching in wonder when they nursed, slept in your arms, learned to walk and talk. But I also remember the fatigue. With four children, it sometimes felt like exhaustion was a constant background hum in my life. Now, there is no exhaustion, only wonder and pure delight.

Dancing—Or Not

I’m starting to understand how other women feel when they don’t dance. Last night I had three sets of dances. That’s it. Either I danced more before I went to Buenos Aires, or it didn’t bother me as much. Tuesdays have become a complete wash out for dancing. Fridays haven’t been much better. Although one good dance makes me itch for more, I now have so many other things on the go that it is time to only show up one night a week—or less. It makes you appreciate that one good dance so much more.

More About Shoes

I’m gaining a reputation as a shoe-a-holic. Yesterday at tango, one of the fellows mentioned this CBC documentary about stilletos. “Gee, I’m talking about shoes. Don’t tell anyone or they’ll revoke my guy card.” Hey, you have full permission to not only talk about shoes, but look at them too. That’s why women wear heels.

This morning a co-worker had emailed me the following link: www.cbc.ca/documentaries/confidential/highheel.html. At work. Hum, does surfing the internet checking out shoes count as assisting the publisher in any way?

Freedom

For a woman who thinks nothing of hopping on an airplane and heading to a foreign country, it is amazing how terrified I am of the possibility of a relationship. The thought of compromising myself, losing my freedom causes my subconscious to become a bitch. Right now, I can travel when I want, go out when I want, sleep as long as I like. That is too much for me to willingly give up.

I had a budding friendship with a fellow a while ago. When I realized I was actually attracted to him, I did the unthinkable and told him. According to all the chick lit, this is a sure fire way to drive him away. I was hoping he would tell me it wasn't mutual, then we could get on with the business of being friends. But he didn't. I don't think this means he was attracted to me, just that he chose not to say he wasn't. I didn't pursue the possibility of a friendship with him either as he was no longer "safe".

Lately I've come to think I wouldn't mind a "normal" relationship. I also wonder how a woman with such a fierce independent spirit can do this without sacrifice.

Boots

Victoria women have two choices when it comes to footwear in the winter. Diva boots or comfort. I prefer diva boots, but when you walk to work in snow and ice, comfort it has to be. And I already own two pair of boots that won't work in winter, so I needed something more practical. I set out on a quest to get boots that look like great, but offer the ability to walk great distances without falling on my butt. And wound up hugely disappointed.

After the first day, I spent time online looking, but found nothing. Two days and ten shoe stores later I found the best of a bad lot. Unfortunately most comfortable foot wear for women looks like we should be hiking the artic tundra or building igloos.





Now that I have my boots, I'm going outside to build an igloo while there is still some snow left.

Snow—Yet Again

Date: January 9, 2007 For Immediate Release
VICTORIA, BC — The City of Victoria is currently moving ahead with preparations for a cold weather front expected to hit this evening and tomorrow. Road crews are standing by to clean up tree damage and clear ice if it accumulates on roadways. Two salting units are already on standby, with two additional units to be ready before the end of the day.

I’m thinking the City of Victoria aught to get into the weather business. Every time I receive a press release from them for weather conditions, they are correct. Except for the road crews standing by. I looked out my window when I received this. All I saw were two fire trucks at the arena. Not a crew in sight. Not a sanding truck anywhere.



No mention of snow either, just ice. Very pretty. Considering it never snows in Victoria.

Child Support?

“I’m moving to Dublin,” my daughter announced when she walked in the door. For six months! She intends to leave in two months and come back just in time for school in the fall. She has also managed to get her father to pay support while she is in school.

“How did you manage to get your dad to agree to give you money?” Sometimes my curiousity gets the better of me. I can just imagine this conversation:

“I am legally obligated to pay child support if you are going back to school. If only I knew how much your mother was making…”

“How much were you thinking of?”

“I know I’m obligated. If I just knew how much your mother was making…”

“So just give me the money.”

“If I only knew what your mother is making”

“I could use about a $100 every other week for groceries and stuff”

He’s agreed to give her money on a weekly basis while at school and it doesn’t involve me this time. I found last night I was very worried about his questions, though. Because he has used child support as a weapon in the past, it is easy to think he will once again try to use finances to get at me. Ridiculous, I know but I had a bit of a bad night last night as a result.

Good thing the wind quit and I could go dancing. And David even played some of my favourite Kevin Johanssen music!

What it REALLY means

I received this email today on what women mean. I thought I would add some clarification on what we really mean.

Words that women use!

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Really means "You aren't listening, so do NOT say another word. And do NOT come crawling back to me when your stupid scheme fails." Can also be interpreted as I told you so (in advance).

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Hum, five minutes really does mean five minutes. Whatever. Some women just don't know how to get ready in time.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
Really means "Are you just too stupid to figure out what bugs me? OMG, you really are dumber than a sack of hammers!" Can also be interpreted as you still aren't listening.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
Really means "fine". See number one.

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
Really means "OMG, do I have to tell you and/or do everything?" And it will result in #3 if you don't figure it out. Because you still aren't listening!

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Really means "Oh, forget it. I refuse to argue about this any more" and will result in #3.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying fine.
Really means "Just forget it. You aren't listening, and you wouldn't understand anyway."

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to #3.
Really means "Youstill aren't listening!"

I do want to clarify that not all men are dummber than hammers and actually listen when their women talk. Bet they don't hear whatever, fine or just forget it. Now if only I could figure out what men really mean.

Horoscope

Monday Magazine has Georgia Nichols’ predictions for 2007. I don’t normally believe in the whole horoscope thing, but some times Georgia has a freaky ability to be acurate. One year, she predicted a baby. Yeah right like that would happen—then my daughter (also a scorpio) announced a very unexpected pregancy.

Last year she predicted “This is not one of those years where you’re at the train station waiting for your ship to come in... Moneybags Jupiter is in your sign this year for the first time in 12 years; and this blessing comes to you at a most propitious time. Act on your dreams! 2006 is the year of the so-called “lucky break” for your sign.” And it was.

So, this year is supposed to start frantic. Georgia states “chaos reigns at home either due to renovations and big changes, or domestic conflict.” Renovations would be it. I picked up the first brochure for my new kitchen yesterday.

“By March, you’ll escape through fun, pleasure, vacations and sporting activities”. Vacations. “Hey, Paul it says I’m supposed to go on vaction in March. CITA is in March”

“What is CITA?”

“Tango festival. Buenos Aires.” Silence. “I take it from the silence that would be a no?”

“Yep.”

Too bad, it goes on to say “romace is definitely luscious that month and continues with more sweet promise into April.” Dam, I was looking forward to that hot Argentinian. Oh, wait, it says involvement with foreign countries is strong from Halloween on. I’m good.

I’m supposed to buy clothes in December because I’ll be “too sexy for my shoes!”. Hey, like that would ever happen. She hasn’t seen the shoes!

New Year’s Weekend

In three nights of dancing, our entire community wasn't together once. I realize that people come and go, and not everyone could be together all the time. To an outsider the rifts aren't so apparent as there are so few who only support the faction that split. And also(because of those from out of town) most of of were willing to dance at Henderson Hall. As a result, most who came on Saturday night were also in attendance either Friday or Sunday night. The few who refuse to support the cafe seemed more like outsiders than those who came from out of town. If this was a move for power and control, they seem to have lost all of it.

I did hear some disturbing comments from more than one friend of mine that now feels isolated from the community at the cafe since the split. Why are we isolating people? Tango is about connection, community and above all friendship. We will lose those on the fringe if we don't extend our hand in friendship. And it would be a great loss to our community.

New Year's Resolutions

It is the time of year when we are all flooded with New Year's Resolutions. Advice on what resolutions to make, how to keep them etc. As usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short. Guess that is what I get for giving a toonie to some guy in an Armani suit who needed bus money to get downtown... hey wait a minute.

I don't make New Year's resolutions, and can't remember the last time I did. Like everyone, I know there are things in my life that need to be worked on, but would rather not wait to make a list once a year. But this year, just to get into the spirit of things, I promise I'll make a list of resolutions. And like everyone else, I'll break my New Year's resolution.

The Gallery

Finally went to the gallery to dance last night. Friendship counts far more than politics in the end, and because Wendy asked, I went. Only a few people are part of both groups, so the split is very much a split. It hurts as I have friends in each "camp" and feel so torn each time I'm forced to choose who my "friends" are.

Lilliana came in, greated everyone in that wonderful "sweet" voice of hers, went down the line of women. "Merry Christmas. It is so good to see you. How are you. So glad you could make it out tonight." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Then she gets to me.

"Oh, hi" and stalks off. Later, she tried to make nice, but really, it was a bit late for that! Guess it is obvious who isn't on the "friend" list.

A Girl's Guide to Living Alone

Have you seen the overwhelming amount of books out there that should be subtitled "How to Catch a Man"? I don't think anyone realizes that men don't want to be caught. Unless they have been taught by their mothers that they need a woman to iron their socks and starch their underpants.

1. Get rid of the self help books. No one needs titles that tell you we come from different planets. Why not just say men are dogs and women are cats and be done with it. I did see one: "Why Men Like Bitches". Hey men like ...bunnies (rhymes with truck).

2. Develop skills with your hands. You will need to be able to fix broken plumbing, nail boards etc. Buy a tool kit and learn how to use it.

3. Hobbies. Wow, I can't believe how many women don't do anything once they meet a man. Now if that isn't a reason to stay alone, I don't know what is. I'm not giving up my life for anyone. Guys don't give up poker night with their buddies. I cherish my freedom. After a clingy husband and four kids I wouldn't give up my interests for anyone, no matter how special.

4. Defend your space. Complain if he leaves socks on your floor, doesn't pick up his underpants (starched or not), invades your kitchen and thinks he knows what he's doing. Unless he wants to cook for you. Whatever you do, DON'T clean up after him. But make sure he cleans up his mess. Men are grown ups too.

5. Talk about your own interests. Guys like to talk about themselves. Too bad. Talk about yourself. You are interesting too.

We as women need to live our lives. Although I was married for a long time, my life never revolved around my husband (much to his intense disappointment). Our culture still teaches women to fetch and carry for the men in their lives. DON'T do it. We are fascinating, exciting, vivacious people. Isn't it time we actually lived like we are? Live with a man, live without a man, just don't ever live for a man.

Music

Music is such an integral part of how we dance. In Buenos Aires, the music was an expression of passion, release, longing and hope. Slow and intense, it is the best music to dance to. This music allows a woman to express her individuality, sensuality and passion. One of my greatest pleasures was time for interpretation. Dancing slow enough to taste the music. It came in through the pores and permeated my being.

Here at home, I don't dance well. The faster I go, the less I feel. I dance disconnected, too much concentration, not enough feeling. For me, tango is about feeling, not about speed. Why do we pass one another like we are driving race cars? Hey, that makes me the race car! Forget embellishments, forget footwork, just hang on tight and try not to fall over. Good thing my shoes are so sexy.

Enough Said

I am such a bitch to him. And I hate myself because of it. I swing between wanting things to go back to they way they had been and anger. But there is no had been. The truth is that it was only my perception we were friends anyway. I could talk to him, but why? We aren't ever going to be friends. Hard to do that when he thinks I violate his boundaries. It shouldn't even bother me. He doesn't want me to have anything to do with him, so I don't talk to him. Should be fine. But then I have to act like a bitch, and I hate it.

It's All About the Shoes

Here they all are in all their beauty. The last pair will come out to dance tomorrow night.

The Last

This morning when I went outside to get firewood, a package was sitting on my porch. I just love brown paper packages tied up with string. Okay, no string, but brown paper. These are the last pair. Wow, beautiful. And with cold feet and cold shoes, they were a cosy fit. Ooh, delightful.

Saving the Best for Last

(Or Something Like That)

The final pair of shoes came out to play last night. These are very spikealicious, which is why they were left until the end. It isn't so much that I think they are the best, more that I was afraid I'd kill myself dancing in them. Fall off those heels and it would leave a mark. "Medic, medic!" The higher the heel, the more the dynamic of dancing changes too. I'm trying to put into practice things I learned in Buenos Aires and I can't stand on my own two feet. Yep, learned lots can't you tell?

They were the pair I just had to buy though. In my quest for green shoes, these were the most amazing shoes I'd seen. Not only are they green, they are pink as well. I could sit and stare at them all night.

"Sorry, I can't dance. Can't you see I'm busy!"

Good thing there were only 12 people there last night. Gave me plenty of time to stare. And fewer people to hurt.

Baking

Candied cherries. They are not so easy to find. People who live in my neighbourhood must not eat. I've pondered this before. I don't own a car at least not one that runs, so need to walk, bus or taxi to buy groceries. The nearest grocery store from work is a 15 minute walk (then at least 1/2 hour wait for a bus and another 10 minutes home). But candied cherries were almost $9 for 8 oz. I need three times that for the cookies and for Christmas cake. Yikes!

The next closest grocery store is new and on the way home. No bus from there to home either, so can't buy too much. But no candied cherries at all!

Day three of the search. I got off early from work today, so decided to hike to yet another grocery store. This one took almost 45 minutes to walk there. But they had candied cherries. In the bulk section, the cost worked out to less money for twice as much. So I got bought plenty. Stocked up on butter, eggs, tart shells. Hey, I'm starting to get excited about this Christmas thing again!

Home again, pulled out the Purity cookbook. This is a reprint of one I've had since I was 19. Flipped to the cake page--so excited! But wait 2lbs raisins!? And currents? Wow, don't remember needing that much. So I scanned the recipe some more. 12 eggs? 5 CUPS brown sugar? Okay, not the same, wow three 10" cakes. Hum, anybody want Christmas cake? That is enough to feed all those homeless people downtown.

"Do you have some spare change?"

"No, but I have some spare Christmas cake. Bring your friends."

So I called my daughter. The one who stole my original Purity cookbook. After all, I don't need that much Christmas cake. Just enough for a few friends.

Maybe I'll make that cherry biscotti today instead.

Christmas

Christmas is definitely on its way. It is such a zoo out there. The sense of urgency and panic is unbelievable. What ever happened to the wonder and delight? Did we loose it to yet another Martha Stewart moment of perfectionism? I remember paper decorations on the tree, home made cookies, family and the delight and excitement. Now, I have a hard time getting into the "spirit" of the season. Or maybe it is just the commercialism.

It is time to recapture that joy and delight I felt as a kid. Enough of this Scrooge cynicism. Digging through my basement (ech, that's a chore!) will find a box of wonders and delights. A home made Santa and ornaments for the tree. I refuse to spend money a lot of money on Christmas. Instead, I'll bake some Christmas cake and some cookies, decorate in a small, imperfect way. And invite my friends and family over.

Saturday

Bertram Levy gave a lecture on the history of tango. His background seems to reflect an interest in jazz music, so he tied the roots of tango to the roots of jazz. Afterwards, we danced to live music. Bertram played bandoneon and Robert Mari was brilliant on piano as always. They were accompanied by a violinist and double bass player as well.

Here we had a wonderful opportunity to heal some of the rifts within our dance community, but there was a woeful lack of communication among the groups. This dissension hurts my heart so much.